WEDNESDAY

last few days in school have been good!

finally trying to start mugging again. jamming tomorrow night at US studios again, starting to feel the pressure on SBC. i just want to get into the finals and sort things out after the semis. it sure doesnt help that im sick and cant sing properly without feeling this fucking burning pain in my chest. DAMN!

Finished with my woman
'Cause she couldn't help me with my mind
People think I'm insane
Because I am frowning all the time

All day long I think of things
But nothing seems to satisfy
Think I'll lose my mind
If I don't find something to pacify

Can you help me
Occupy my brain?
Oh yeah

I need someone to show me
The things in life that I can't find
I can't see the things that make true happiness
I must be blind

Make a joke and I will sigh
And you will laugh and I will cry
Happiness I cannot feel
And love to me is so unreal

And so as you hear these words
Telling you now of my state
I tell you to enjoy life
I wish I could but it's too late

SABBATH BABY!

SATURDAY

2 posts in one day!!!

its 8.20 on a saturday evening, and im at the best place where any angsty-lan obsessed teenager could be.. CROSSFIRE BABY!!

its been a bad/good week. time to go eat prata

SATURDAY

its fucking early now, 10 on a saturday morning. im shagged from all the running yesterday, school and little useless things that i get all ruffled up about.

there is so much shit happening now man. 2 months to promos, singapore band challenge semis next week, hockey, singapore band challenge finals plus showcases all throughout october. this is the first time that i'll probably have to prioritise what i have to spend my time and energy on. im honestly not excited about SBC semis, cause we sucked so bad in the quarters. sure the judges may have said that "we are the band to beat" but i think its all a big joke cause they cant see us 17 year-olds feeling all down and depressed if they shoot us.at least they gave brian some shit for being a "great" rhythm guitarist. i was so pissed i couldve killed someone, but at least we got through.

now we have different opinions on what to play for the semis. i honestly dont want to think anymore because this is not MY band. in the first place, this is not ANYONE's band. it doesnt belond to anyone, no one is in control. we all need opinions,enthusiasm and craziness from each of us.right now im getting the opinions part only from 2. one has fucking dance which i have absolutely no appreciation of.this sucks man.

and im so confused about alot of things right now. what am i supposed to do man seriously?should i even think about what to do? right now my answer is no. because im just enjoying whatever time i have with you and not thinking about what could/couldnt happen next. few weeks ago i probably would have been really stressed and freaked out (hahaha that stage was really funny) but now im trying not too.i just hope you're enjoying our time together just like i am.

then again, i shouldnt think and expect so much eh? time to eat kids

THURSDAY

Jam yesterday was fucking awesome man!

Except for brian's frequent complaining about how his amp is screwed (when in fact in 100% sure its his guitar) and when i cant hear his solos cause he cant bother to bring another pedal as a booster and when he doesnt know parts for songs that he was supposed to learn.

So much for responsibility.

We change the time for the jam just for you and this is the kind of bullshit that we get. Songs that are half-learnt, messy soloing, bad vocals. I cant believe that you're actually going to be singing the verse of the opening song. I just hope it doesnt go as bad as it could.

So i know i shouldnt be posting this here, since many people will take a look at it. But hello, please start looking around and stop complaining and realise that you need to improve. All we can probably bring to stage is probably our enthusiasm and crowd-pleaser lines but will that be enough? Especially if we're not playing in front of our friends but in front of strangers? I hope we improve, all of us including myself.

And another reason why im posting it here is because i cant tell anyone this kinda stuff anymore. Or rather, there isnt anyone that i can share this stuff with. I either get the feeling that they dont care maybe cause they are not in a band, or cause they dont know whats going on. Either way, maybe they think im too naggy hmm.

This sucks, friday better be good all 4 of us better put up a fucking insane and sick show.

Gotta go change strings and the batteries in mah emg's at night. Sigh the life of a guitarist...


Moving on, i hope this goes somewhere cause i really want it too. If it doesnt i'll just have to suck it up but rest assured.. ill do everything that i can. I just hope that you realise it.

TUESDAY

power man im so on mugger-mode now.

only lesson i missed was PE and of course.. physics tutorial cause i "fell asleep again in the library" hahaha.

_|_ you mr chan your lessons really suck!

its getting late, this friday at yms, behind nafa waterloo street 11th july tickets are 14/ea! bands playing include polarix (DUH), fat bottomed girls (DOM!), delorean (THERESE!), della mandre ,astronauts by day and another one.

HOPE TO SEE YA THERE. for tickets just message me yeah maybe got discount rate for special people ALL ON MY BEHALF!(:

been cutting down successfully!just a few more weeks hahah take care niggaz \m/

TUESDAY

School has started and i guess its been fine. Im pretty satisfied with my results ahha. I worked my ass off for them (EXCEPT CHINESE HAHAHAHA).

Decided to give hockey a go, since floorball is so slack and right now the b-team is like totally on their own. There really is no point for me till we start training properly, by then it'll probably be too late. You could say that im not much of an optimist but hey, im not the only one who thinks this way.

Trying to re-adjust and get back to the mood for school. Didnt go to school on monday, finally set a new record for the latest time i ever woke up to go to school today. 7.20am. Woah, damn pro man \m/ thumbs up to myself.

I havent been taking out all my negativity on very good things recently. I could say that the period that i spent preparing for the recent exams was probably the most stress-filled, angsty, fucking angry time of my life. I pulled through this time, hopefully i wont leave it to chance ever again.

I really am trying to cut down. Im not trying to convince anyone out there about that but myself. So far, it hasnt been that successful, but im trying. I just hope that you and everyone else can help me through this. But seriously, not that i hate it yknw, just that i know its not really healthy. I really hope that this doesnt change anything with anyone, cause i realise a few people are more cautious with me these days. I hope im being over-sensitive.. no i really wish i am being over-sensitive. Hope this wont change anything, i cant afford another setback.

Good-day.

With the birds I'll share
This lonely view...