I am on my 11th ciggarette today.amazing how just two weeks ago I was living on hardly two sticks a day. What can I say, things have been tough. Sitting outside the bus stop opposite bedok south sec now, lying on the bench like a homeless person wow, watching the cars zoom by, just like how everyone comes and soon says 'bye'. But I know that you're not that kind of person. I don't want you to be that. You're everything and so much more, yet almost everyday you make me feel so tortured.fuck the iPhone spell check btw it's fucking up my typing. And no I still love you, as much as ever. I can say 'let's get through this' as many times I want to you and myself but I know that it's not enough. Sometimes I feel like screaming to myself 'FUCKING WAKE UP DUDE GROW UP BE THE MAN SHE WANTS YOU TO BE'' but I know that it isn't so easy.another 5 days before I'll see you again, I'm so out of options that I actually think it might help. Ahh love is hard, sometimes I don't wanna say it I just wanna do things. I guess you are different.

With that, I'll light up my 12th stick and continue to sir here for as long as I'll need too